Judo for Parents . com

“Is my child good?” is a common question posed to Judo coaches, and one that is often awkward to answer. The answer normally is “yes and no“, all children have talents and things they are especially good at; sometimes that area is the sport of Judo. Sometimes, it is not so much the sport aspect as it is a subset of Judo. for example your child may be a wonderful official or coach in the making.

But lets look at this from the perspective that most parents pose it, in terms of winning medals and the idea of your child being a sportsperson and perhaps competing at the Olympic games. Again the answer here is “yes and no”. Your child may well be talented, but the reality is that a tiny minority of those that do Judo get the chance to compete at the Olympic Games.

Here in the UK the total number of people doing Judo through the British Judo Association is about 30,000 people. Last year in Beijing seven British Judoka competed at the Olympics. That means that 1 in every 4250 or so Judo players can be Olympians, a rough guesstimate, and actually that is not so bad, better odds than the lottery.

So, back to the question, is your child talented?

Quite possibly, are they physically literate? In other words, do they display good ability at Judo? Are they good runners? Are they good at football? Are they good at swimming? If the answer is yes to all those questions, then maybe they have been given above average gifts, they have potential. When they are at Judo, do they win against bigger, better, older kids?

Are they the sort of kid who will go out and kick the ball at a target on the wall 100 times? Are they stubborn? Do they refuse to give-up? Do they love sport? Do they love Judo? Do they love Judo when they lose? Do they love to win? Do they Hate to lose? When they lose, do they come back and train harder?

If the answer to the above questions is yes, then maybe they have the mental toughness and aptitude to be talented at Judo.

Does your club coach, the regional coach, the national coach think they have some talent? If you don’t know, ask.

What if they are talented?

If your child is talented then prepare for a heart ache and pain. As the parent, you will feel every bruise, every injury, every loss. Judo at the elite level is hard and not many people make it to the very top. So you as the parent need to be ready for the pain of watching your child push themselves to the limit and fail. You need to be able to support them through the tough times that will come, and give them the solid supportive, loving care they are going to need.

The support network you as a parent form the core of, is a key component to the success of a talented child. You need to be able to support and encourage whilst ensuring that your child is not being pushed too hard. Can you do it? You will be a taxi, a bank, a shoulder to cry on.

What to do if my child is a talented Judo player?

The short answer is get help. Start talking to your club coach, start talking to elite coaches, start learning what these people think and what they see in your child.

The longer answer is to find the best people available to support your child and build a team around them that will help protect and develop your child. Try and find the experts you need. Find a coach that is amazing, a coach who cares about your child both as an athlete and also as a person. Someone that will push them and also protect them.

You will want to investigate the national performance system in your country, and see how it impacts your childs future. If they are “that good” then they will probably need to to work with the national setup. But this may conflict with the systems you have in place, the personal coach. You along with your child need to decide what is best and how to get the best of both worlds.

There is a difference between “elite” and “good”.

Many of you are probably reading the paragraphs above and are a bit shocked. The above words are talking about the top level of Judo the sport and are not relevant to 99.999% percent of us (or at least 1/4250 of us). It is written in a intentionally scary way to help you as a parent realise that the life of a elite athlete is hard and will take a toll on you and on your child if that is the path that is taken.

It is very VERY different to being a good/talented club player, or even regional champion and in many cases even being national champion is nothing compared to the path of the truely elite player, and all those aspiring and working towards that level.

But the difficulty is that you as a parent play a key role in deciding if that path is possible for your child. If they are going to make it to the highest levels, then decisions are going to start needing to be made before your child is an adult, meaning it is you as a parent that is responsible in many ways. In Judo it is perhaps less of a issue than say Gymnastics, as Judo athletes are generally in their 20s before they hit the Olympic stage.

But… it takes time to reach that level, years of time and effort are required. meaning that your child will probably need to be starting down the path towards the Olympics whilst still in school. Definitely at the age where they are looking at University education. Will your talented child go to University or train full-time? Can they do both? What is more important to them as a person? Should sport take a back seat to education and a career?

Again, it is you the parent of the Judo child that in reality makes the decision. These decisions can start as young as pre-teen. Do you send them to a Judo camp or go to a foreign country for your holiday/vacation? Do you allow them to travel long distances to compete in competitions on the weekend. Do they go to Judo or to Spanish language lessons? Do they learn Guitar or go for a run?

It is an unenviable position, and the reality is that nobody can give you an easy answer as to what you should do. Perhaps you can seek the guidance of someone who has child who has been to the Olympics. But even then, you and your family are unique and nobody can answer the question. You and your child are the only ones who can decide what path to take.

Personally, I would say this: If your child is considered talented by a wide number of the highest level coaches you can find AND if your child loves Judo (win or lose) and your child wants to go to win at the highest levels. If that is their passion (not yours) then I say support them to follow that dream. If they make it to that elusive Olympic gold, then you have helped them achieve an amazing thing. The last thing you want your child to have is regrets that they never tried to achieve their dream or worse they felt that you their parent held them back!

Good luck!

[Update 5 August 2009] Bob over at CoachingJudo.com has posted a follow up to this post which is well worth reading. Click HERE to read his article.

LanceW Judo Judo, talent

So your little Jane or John just loves Judo and looks really good at it, but are they “Good“.
Are they better than average, are they a potential champion?

The short answer is sadly… NO.

Statistically speaking, the odds are severely stacked against your child being a world champion. There are a tiny number of champions and a huge number of people that are not champions. Remember, if the goal is Olympic Gold; then there are only 14 champions every 4 years. Lets look at this closer, if you have a child who is a female 48kg fighter for example, there is only 1 person every 4 years. But there are millions of people doing Judo, so it is unlikely that your child is a future Olympic Champion.

To further dash your hopes, unless you are reading this post from Japan, Korea, China, France or Cuba, the chances are even less likely that your daughter will win a Olympic Gold. Sorry!

So why am I destroying your dreams?

Because you have to be realistic and it may be worth considering not even trying to be a champion! Seriously, every player, parent and coach needs to look at a player and consider the commitment and pain involved in trying to be the best and weigh that against not trying.

Especially as the parent you need to find what is best for your son or daughter in the long-term. Is chasing Olympic gold what is in their best interest? Or should they go to University and become a doctor? Judo is hard and the rewards are few, your son will not be earning millions as a World Champion in Judo. After it’s all over, they’ll need to come back to the world most of us live in and get a job etc.

All that said, your five year old may well have everything it takes to make it!

Until this year, an American woman had never won an Olympic medal in Judo. It would have been easy for Ronda Rousey to decide that there was no point even trying, but she did and she now has a place in Judo history and will forever be the first US woman to win a medal in Olympic Judo history.

Maybe you daughter is going to be the first person to win Olympic gold in judo for your country? Maybe your son will win more World titles than anyone else in History? Maybe they’ll be come a legend in the sport.

If they don’t try they’ll never know.

The awesome legend of Ice Hockey, Wayne Gretzky is credited with the quote:

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

If your child never trys to be their best, they (and you) will never know if they had what it takes to make it.
As a parent, you are concerned with ensuring that your child achieves the absolute best they can in life. Maybe Judo is the area where your child will achieve their greatest accomplishments. Only you and your child can decide that.

So… maybe they are, maybe they are not.
But there are clues you can look for. Some indicators (arguably) that your child will “make it”, are:

They are obsessed/passionate about Judo.
They love the practise as much as the fighting
They practise more and harder than anyone else… without being told to.
They win everything they enter.
They lose everything, but come back for more!
They hate losing.
They train with the best coaches and players in the world.

You’ll notice that there is no physical attributes listed. Being able to do 100 chinups at six years old is not an indicator that your child will win a gold. The mental attributes are often regarded as more important than the physical. And the proof may be the number of champions who have won their title whilst injured.

If you think your child has the seeds of greatness, then talk to their coach. Ask them to realistically assess if your child has potential. Remember the odds are stacked heavily against them being “that good”, but I would say it is almost always worth trying!

LanceW Judo champion, Judo, talent